These days, self-acceptance can be a challenging process for many people. Despite being in the 21st century, many gay guys still have issues accepting and living their sexuality and as a result, they pretend to be straight.
Studies have shown that people pretend about their sexual orientation due to many reasons including fear of rejection, bullying, religious belief, and family background. However, if you are involved with one without knowing, here are signs to know.
Ways to Know a Guy Is Pretending to be Straight
1. Lack of Emotional Connection with Women
A gay man is emotionally in tune with members of his sex and unsurprisingly, he will not have a genuine emotional connection with women.
Oddly, he may enter relationships with women to hide his sexuality. However, he will struggle to have an attraction to them because, in reality, his heart is elsewhere.
2. Always Dating but Failing to Commit
Another sign of a guy pretending to be straight is his constant need to be in relationships with women. However, telltale signs like consistent issues in all these relationships are a red flag.
For emphasis, he will likely struggle to maintain long-term relationships because he will always avoid committing. As a result, he cannot maintain a connection due to commitment problems.
3. Avoids Discussion on LGBTQ+Topics
Conversation about the LGBTQ+ movement may be an uncomfortable one for a guy pretending to be straight. This is because he does not want to blow up his cover by revealing or showing an understanding of it.
He may go as far as changing the discussion or outrightly evading LGBTQ+ issues. It may be a red flag if you have noticed fidgeting on his part or getting defensive.
4. Secretive About Past Relationships
A pretender will likely want to keep issues about past relationships or lovers a secret. Though the past is likely not a priority in your relationship, there are instances that conversation may make people mention an event or something involving a past relationship.
Or if he even talks about his relationships, have you asked yourself why he does not use gender-specific pronouns? Why does it have to be ‘them, they, their’? instead of ‘she, her, her’ or even I dated a girl while in college or high school.
5. He Jokes About Being Gay
Generally, people can use jokes to talk about serious issues in their lives. For a gay man, he may joke all the time about being gay because it is a coping mechanism for his true feelings.
6. A Fixation on His Masculinity
Over time, masculine attributes are considered important to men. Oddly, some gay men pretending to be straight are likely to have a strong sense of masculinity.
He will constantly talk about his masculinity even if the conversation is not about that. Also, he tries so hard to be seen as masculine to prove his heterosexuality.
7. He Pretends to be Extremely Homophobic
Some gay men pretend to be homophobic to take away attention from their sexuality. While there are people who are homophobic because they feel it is unacceptable, there are those whose homophobia is a sign of hidden homosexuality. Such people may have grown up in authoritarian homes where homosexuality was frowned upon and they also had to put up a hatred of it.
Moving on, a closeted gay man is likely going to say things against gays because he is scared of admitting his impulses. If you have seen such signs of extreme homophobia in your man, you may want to dig deeper.
8. Secretive Online Activity
Social media sometimes reflect a person’s reality. No wonder, if your partner lives a secretive life, it leaves a lot of unanswered questions. Moreso, it is known that people are influenced by the content they see online.
Relating this to a person’s true sexuality, a gay man is likely to be active on gay sites or online gay activities.
However, he will do everything within his power to keep these details away from the woman he is dating because he does not want her to know. He will do things like create a fake profile she is not aware of, join particular chat forums or even be chatting with other men online.
9. He Has a Curious Friendship with a Particular Man
Having close male friends is usual for many men including gay men, however, you may have been curious about his closeness with a particular man. The two seem to melt into each other when they meet while the whole world becomes nonexistent. He shares important things with this ‘curious friend’ even before you find out.
BUT, he denies having any romantic feelings for this special friend. If you are in such a situation, this may be a red flag about his true sexuality and priority.
10. Your Gut Feeling
This is last on least because it is a strong belief about something that cannot be explained or decided by reasoning. According to a popular saying have faith in your intuition and listen to your gut feeling.
This means that you should never ignore it. If something doesn’t feel right about the sexuality of a man, then you have to find out more.