Several factors lead to insecurity in a relationship and top on the list is probably when someone loses confidence in his or her partner. Most people have indeed felt insecure on justifiable grounds. But there is also a possibility your insecurities are for the wrong reasons. Unfortunately, insecure people have a high chance of feeling afraid, hurt, attacked, and offended. Whether on justifiable grounds or not, insecurity is not a nice thing to live with. The first step to dealing with it is knowing you are insecure and owning up to it.
10 Ways To Know You Are Insecure
1. When you are always in doubt and find it difficult to trust
There are several reasons why people get to doubt their partners. These may range from conflicts to lack of information or understanding. When doubt and trust issues prevail in any relationship, it is an indication of insecurity. This makes you have second thoughts about your partner and his/her intentions.
2. When you are easily inflamed
Flaming up at the slightest provocation is another indicator of an insecure person. Moreover, insecure people have a different interpretation of whatever their partner says and they are always ready for a fight. There is hardly any relationship that does not witness disagreements. But such that stems from insecurity are perpetual consecutive and sometimes irrational.
3. Always looking out for the needs of your partner and neglecting your own
Interesting right? Who would have imagined that an insecure person would care to look out for the needs of his partner? Well, it happens in some cases. While some people will be prone to picking up a fight at the slightest provocation, others will always do what their partner likes and even neglect their own needs. This usually happens when the insecure person wants to pacify his/her partner.
4. When you hold yourself to unrealistic standards
Subjecting oneself to some unrealistic standard is a serious problem and may be caused by several other factors including insecurity. There are several ways you may subject yourself to unrealistic standards just because you feel your partner may appreciate you more. Setting an unrealistic standard is dangerous because it makes you change your values and priorities. The long-term effect of this is that it leads to frustration, disappointment, low self-esteem, and anxiety.
5. You always feel your partner will leave you
Do you always fear that your partner is about to leave you or may leave you someday? Well, for whatever reason, it is also a sign of insecurity. Try to identify why you feel the way you do and reconcile with yourself and your partner.
6. When you struggle to be intimate
Insecurity can be able to create an unhealthy dynamic that makes you feel dependent on your partner for self-worth, safety, and other forms of satisfaction like intimacy. But you need to be careful, there are several other reasons why people struggle to be intimate. The one caused by insecurity mostly emanates from past emotional wounds.
7. When you are always afraid
When you find yourself always getting afraid in a relationship, It may be a sign of insecurity. Most people who become fearful in their relationship find themselves ruminating on their thoughts and becoming fixated on worst-case scenarios.
8. If you always feel jealous
Jealousy is a prominent sign of insecurity. This is because your thoughts will keep feeding you with information about your partner which may not necessarily be true.
9. When you find yourself thinking constantly
When you find yourself perpetually thinking about your partner or his whereabouts, it may also be a sign of insecurity. Some people find themselves thinking about the kind of relationship their partner had with their ex. Doing this will give room for unhealthy comparison.
10. You always need validation from your partner
People who feel insecure feel a constant need to validate their worth through other people’s opinions. Also, they try to seek people’s approval over their personality and work. If you are always on the lookout for likes, comments, and compliments from your partner, and you only feel okay when they approve of your output, it is a clear sign of insecurity.
Quick tips on dealing with insecurity
- Ensure you set time to talk things out with your partner and outline the areas you are not too clear about him or her.
- Listen to your partner without passing judgment.
- Let your communication be effective.
- Critically assess how you or your partner may have contributed you your doubts and hold yourself accountable.
- If your partner apologizes from a place of genuineness, accept the apology and move on.
- Practice active listening.
- Be critical, but don’t overanalyze.
- Practice self-love.
- Take a break from the argument for some minutes or hours.
- Practice forgiving yourself and others.