People around you may be getting married, are engaged, or are having admirable relationships. Then, you are in your corner alone and wondering, “Why am I still single?” From unconsciously sabotaging your chances of being in a relationship to the blocks that may be stopping you from being with someone, there is more to be explored in this article.
Before then, it may interest you to know that there are psychological effects of being single for too long. Research has shown that 54% of people who stay single for long may come face-to-face with some health issues. Ruefully, some of these health challenges may further dampen your chances of being with someone you’re interested in.
Here are Some of the Real Reasons That You’re Still Single
You’re Not Flirty Enough
No one says you should be too pushy – only a little flirting may change your relationship status. How? You may wonder.
According to a study published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, as reported by iflscience.com, lacking the ability to flirt is one reason that keeps people involuntarily single.
Over time, flirting has proven to be of great significance to any form of dating, whether the traditional ways of meeting people or online. In case you wonder how your lack of flirting could be a reason you’re still single, it may interest you to know that the act boosts people’s confidence to open up to you about how they feel.
In a nutshell, flirting is a form of invitation, and the lesser you do it, the probably lesser your chances of being in a relationship.
You’re Trying to Protect Yourself
The darkness of bad past relationship(s) may still be hovering over your head. Or, you may have seen the relationships of those you love go down the drain in a bad way. In your quest to protect yourself, you build walls so high that it’s difficult for someone to get to you.
Sigmund Freud called this a “defense mechanism.” Scientifically, it is a subconscious belief that the situation (in this case, a relationship) may lead to emotional harm.
Unfortunately, you may be unaware of this behavior, but it doesn’t change the fact that it may be why you’re still single. Perhaps you may need to do some self-search to be sure that you’re free from this!
Are You Scared of Something? Well, This May Be Why You’re Still Single
What if she doesn’t like me? What if he doesn’t find me attractive? What if…? When there are many questions of doubt, you tend to be held back, and when this happens, you may just be on a bus for a long drive to being single.
Your fears may be unique to you. Yet, some of the most common include the fear of rejection, abandonment, and also fear of putting your intentions known.
You Have Not Met the Right Person, or Your Expectations are Too High
Not everyone would match your energy, speak “your language”, and connect on different levels with you. This may be one reason that you’re still single. Or, are your expectations too high for anyone to meet?
Well, some of these expectations may actually not be as important as you think. A study suggests that there are “irrelevant traits” that people are looking for in a relationship. As much as these traits may seem important to some people, it has been proven that spouses do well even when they (traits) are removed. You may want to ask what are they.
They include race/ethnicity, religious affiliation, height, occupation, physical attractiveness, previous marital status, sexual tastes, and similarity to oneself.
Despite this, do not forget that not having standards too may hinder your chances of being in the relationship you deserve. The bottom line is to balance your expectations.
You Fail to Notice When Someone is Interested in You
Your being single may not be because of the many details we’ve already given but because you fail to recognize when someone is interested in you. As Conroy-Beam stated, your preferences cannot always predict attraction.
Unfortunately, there are people who focus on preferences so much that they become too blind to notice attractions towards them. With this being said, you may learn how to pay attention to the people around you, how they behave around you, and if they leave clues for you to know that they are interested in you.
Maybe the actual “love of your life” may have been right next to you all along. You may be overlooking the signs.
You Don’t Have Key Relationship Skills
Just before you think further about why you are not dating anyone, you should also check if you have the right attitude. This skill may not seem important or you may not notice their presence but they are there and may be the hurdle that you need to cross.
Research has shown that some of the personal issues that turn people who are romantically interested in people are insecurity in relationships, clingy behaviors, and displaying anger in an uncontrollable manner.
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Are You Comfortable With Modern Dating Culture?
Statistics gathered by Visualisation show that in the 1960s, most couples met through friends, family, schools, etc. Then, less than 1% of couples met on the Internet. In the 2000s, almost 10% of couples met online while most met through friends as in the case of the ’60s.
The narrative changed in the 2010s and almost 20% of couples met online. In fact, blind dates also made it to the chart. Unfortunately, some people are still hoping to meet in the traditional way of “meeting through friends and family” as in the 1960s in the 2020s.
Although this is not possible, you may still be single because you have not explored the chances of meeting and communicating effectively with people on social media and other channels. In the same manner, you may have kept away from joining dating apps.
What To Do About Being Single
From all of the aforementioned reasons that you’re still single, you may have deduced what to do. If not, here are some ways to be in a relationship:
- Do not be afraid of speaking up about how you feel to the person you care about
- Make it easy for people to speak to you; a little smile could send the right message
- Focus on building yourself and work on some negative attitudes that may turn a potential spouse off
- Set clear boundaries but don’t also forget to lower your standards if they are too high
- Explore meeting people with the help of technology by using social media and dating apps
- Let someone love you; Drop your insecurities and hurt from the past
- Don’t get too comfortable in your comfort zone; go out and meet people
Inasmuch as this article contains reasons that you’re still single and the possible things to do about it, you don’t have to beat yourself about it. In fact, there is nothing wrong with being single voluntarily. You may also want to be reminded to love yourself as much as possible. For if you do, it will be easier to share your love and in the process, you may receive just as much.
You may also want to keep in mind that being single is better than being in a bad or toxic relationship.
