Getting married is usually a lifetime goal and one of the most significant decisions you’ll make in your life. As such, it is essential you have specific discussions with your partner in order to know your stands and expectations in marriage.
Just before you go on your knee, be sure to have talked about topics of priority such as finances, career goals, communication, handling conflicts, intimacy, parenting, and lifestyle.
Here are 50 things to Talk About Before Proposing to Her
Finances and Career Goals
According to research, 20- 40% of divorces in the United States have been linked to finances. This is mainly because several intending couples fail to ask the right questions on saving methods, investment strategies, splitting finances and retirement options.
- How do we handle our finances when we get married? Should we consider a particular style?
- What are the practical steps we should take in resolving differences in our finances?
- Do you have any pending debts? How do you intend to pay it off? At what point should come in?
- Should the one who earns more pay the bills? or do we share responsibilities?
- Do you want a separate bank account or share all assets?
- How much can each of us spend without having to ask for permission?
- If I were to get a better job offer in a different location, would you let me go for it while we maintain a distance relationship or would you suspend your job to join me?
- Would you foot the bills if were to lose my job? What’s our following line of action?
- Where do you see yourself in 10 years’ time? Do you have other short-term plans?
- What’s your retirement plan?
- What kind of life do you want to live post-retirement?
Sex and Intimacy
Over time, sex compatibility, and intimacy have become very paramount in sustaining a healthy marriage. As you would find, many cases of infidelity occur when there’s a sexual mismatch which may often leads to divorce.
- Is there anything from your past that may likely affect your sexual life?
- Should sexual intimacy be a priority when we get married?
- How open are you to experiments in bed? Do you enjoy any kind of BDSM?
- If one of us is not in the mood, are there ways you think it should be communicated? How do we manage this?
- What’s your sex drive? What turns you on?
- Should we have dos and don’t during sex?
- Would you communicate we were not compatible?
- In what ways do you intend to spice up our sexual lives if it gets boring?
- What do you consider cheating in marriage?
Family Planning and Parenting
- Would you want to have children? How many should we have?
- If we are unable to have children would you be open to other alternatives like fertility treatments, surrogacy, and adoption?
- How do we split between raising a family and building our careers?
- We had different upbringings and may want to raise our kids like we were introduced. What’s your opinion on this?
- What are your thoughts on homeschooling?
- Are there certain family traditions you also want your children to have?
- What’s the role of our extended family when parenting? When do they come in?
- How do we avoid having favorite children? So that the others don’t feel left out
Read Also:15 Signs You Should Not Break Up With Your Girlfriend
Handling Conflicts and Communication
Conflicts are bound to arise in every marriage and even the seemingly perfect ones still face this. However, there are several ways we can always manage them. Unlike relationships where one can easily walk out on the other, break-ups are not always an option in marriage.
- How would you manage conflicts if were married? Do we avoid them or talk about them?
- What do you do when you are angry?
- If I were to offend you unknowingly would you bring it up? or rather stay angry until I realize?
- What happens after arguments? Should we resolve our misunderstanding immediately? or sleep over it?
- Should there be a day we fail to communicate?
- What are your takes on professional counseling in matters we cannot handle?
- Would divorce ever be an option for you? what are your marriage deal breakers?
- What can I do to provide comfort and encouragement for you when you are hurt or worried?
- Should we have secrets between us? what type of secrets? how would it affect our marriage?
- Is there any secret about you that I should know?
Lifestyle
- How important is personal space to you?
- Would you consider yourself a religious person and do you make decisions based on your beliefs?
- What boundaries do we put in place when making friends with the opposite sex?
- Are you in touch with any of your exes? Should this be a problem?
- Do you prefer to cook or order out?
- How often should we consider a vacation?
- If your job becomes too demanding would you instead adopt a different lifestyle or quit?
- How do we blend our personalities?
- Do we agree on the division of labor in the house?
