Over the years, many relationship experts, therapists, psychologists,s and counselors have noted that there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship. However, great relationships do exist as both partners actively work to improve and connect better through several tools and that also includes relationship books.
These books offer insights, advice, and practical strategies to navigate the complexities of relationships with tools for better communication, conflict resolution, and emotional intimacy. Whether you are in a long-term relationship, starting a new one or even divorced, these relationship books are just a must-read for everyone as they offer valuable knowledge and dynamics to a successful and fulfilling relationship.
Here are 20 Relationship Books You Should Start Reading
20. Listen, Learn, and Love: How to Dramatically Improve Your Relationship in 30 Days
- Author: Susie Albert Miller
- Publication date: 2015
- Genre: Christain literature, self-help, relationship
This is one of the best relationship books you should read as its concepts are very practical. Susie engages readers with applicable guidelines to improve relationships in 30 days or less. Asides from this, the book also contains a progress tracker to evaluate the positive changes you have recorded.
19. The Relationship Cure
- Author: John Gottman
- Publication date: 2001
- Genre: Self-help, marriage, family, friendship
Your relationship cannot be so sick… Well, if you think it is, then it’s time to jump on this relationship cure book. In the book, Gottman outlines a comprehensive guide that explores the science of relationships and the subtle secret to turn troubled relationships into positive ones through tested remedies that have worked for a thousand couples.
This book is a beautiful blend of scientific research, practical wisdom, and Gottman’s extensive experience.
18. The Mastery of Love
- Author: Don Miguel Ruiz
- Published date: 1999
- Genre: Self-help, relationship
It’s true that no one has been able to gain mastery of the subject of love which means there are no perfect relationships. However, Miguel’s philosophical and spiritual tips on overcoming fear, perfectionism, and suffering would help you love freely.
This book is a transformative guide to exploring the depth of love using the ancient wisdom of Toltec and teachings to cultivate a healthy relationship.
17. Too Good To Leave, Too Bad To Stay
- Author: Mira Kirshenbaum
- Publication date: 1997
- Genre: Relationship
In this book, Mira noted that the point where a relationship becomes too good to leave yet too bad to stay is called relationship ambivalence. The book presents a series of 36 questions that target different aspects of relationships such as trust, compatibility, communication, and emotional connection. It also gives clarity to make informed choices and supports individuals with great approaches if they decide to stay or leave.
16. The Art of Loving
- Author: Erich Fromm
- Publication date: 1956
- Genre: Self-help, relationship
With Erich’s experience as a psychoanalyst and social philosopher, he has been able to clearly define what love should be and the steps required to make your relationship work. This book is a fine blend of the art of love, the theory of love, and the practice of love.
The author argues that love is not just a feeling or emotion but an art that requires knowledge, effort, and practice. He also added that love encompasses various forms including love for one’s self, love for others, and humanity.
15. Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How You Find and Keep Love
- Author: Amir Levine, M.D., and Rachel Heller, M.A.
- Publication date: 2010
- Genre: Self-help, relationship, psychology
According to this book, everyone has varying attachment styles which impact how we behave in a relationship. As such you’ll need to understand what your attachment style is and that of your partner to help build a sustainable relationship.
14. Happily Ever After and 39 Other Myths About Love
- Author: Linda Bloom and Charlie Bloom
- Publication date: 2016
- Genre: Family $ relationship, marriage $ longterm relationship, love $ romance
Are there truly happy endings or this is just another myth? Well, Linda and her husband argue that it’s not what you don’t know about relationships that hurts you but the thing you think you know.
This book notes unfounded myths that have been in circulation over the year and how they affect relationships. Taking notes
13. Love $ Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs
- Author: Dr. Emerson Eggerichs
- Publication date: 2004
- Genre: Self-help, marriage, love, respect
If you have ever asked the question; what do men want? and what do women want? then you are not far from your answers. In this book, Dr. Emerson says that the concept of love should be built on the needs and expectations of our partners.
According to his theory, men need respect and not love. As such, they only feel loved when they are respected. On the other hand, women just want to be loved at all times.
12. Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man
- Author: Steve Harvey
- Publication date: 2009
- Genre: non-fiction, relationships, psychology, self-help
If you are a fan of Steve Harvey, then there’s a likelihood that you’ve read this book. However, if you haven’t then why not?. According to the book, women mostly misunderstand how men think about love, relationship, intimacy, and commitment. Consequently, their expectation never becomes a reality.
Steve insists that men think differently and understanding this concept is the best way to navigate the relationship and get what you want.
11. Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus
- Author: John Gray
- Publication date: 1992
- Genre: non-fiction, relationships, psychology, self-help
This is one of John Gray’s best-selling books and one of the best relationship books out there. According to the author and counselor, the concept of love should be based on understanding since both individuals are different and respond to stress in somewhat opposite ways.
After reading this book, you should be able to understand your partner better, balance your differences and also find better ways to communicate.
10. The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work
- Authors: John Goottman and Nan Silver
- Publication date: 1999
- Genre: Selfhelp, relationship
This is a renowned book that provides practical advice for couples to strengthen their relationship through a research-based approach. In this book, the authors offer 7 valuable insights into what makes marriage work and tools for creating a fulfilling and lasting partnership.
Read Also: 50 Things You Should Talk About With Your Girlfriend Before Going On A Knee
9. Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married
- Author: Gary Chapman
- Publication date: 2010
- Genre: Self-help, relationship
This is one of the best relationship books you should read before getting married as it is packed with real-life experiences from Gary’s years of relationship counseling. The book identifies wrong perceptions about marriage that keep lingering over the years and tips to develop a loving, supportive, and mutually beneficial marriage.
8. His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage
- Author: Willard F. Harley, Jr.
- Publication date: 2020
- Genre: Christain literature
Many relationships suffer break-ups because the concept of understanding is often taken for granted. In this book, Willard has identified 10 necessary needs of men and women as well as their expectations and practical step to keep your love alive.
7. No More Fighting: 20 Minutes a Week to a Stronger Relationship
- Author: Alicia Munoz
- Publication date: 2018
- Genre: Nonfiction, family, and relationship
The best way to build a healthy relationship is to stop fighting and no one understands this concept better than the marriage therapist, Alicia Munoz. In this book, she offers the fastest tips to resolve several forms of misunderstandings and also provides readers with ways of identifying the problem.
6. The Course of Love
- Author: Alain De Botton
- Publication date: 2016
- Genre: Romance
It’s always a process when it comes to relationships and this book identifies all the required steps for a relationship to thrive. According to Alain, compatibility is an achievement of love and shouldn’t be mistaken as its precondition. Thusly, both partners would need to study each other and gradually navigate into a perfect relationship.
5. Loving Bravely: Twenty Lessons of Self-Discovery to Help You Get the Love You Want
- Author: Alexandra H. Solomon
- Publication date: 2017
- Genre: Self-help, relationship
There’s probably no best way to help your relationship than loving bravely. This book is packed with 20 lessons of self-discovery to help you get the love you want. It also focuses on better ways to maintain an intimate relationship with yourself. Here are other self-love books you should read.
4. Conscious Loving: The Journey to Co-Commitment
- Author: Gay Hendricks and Kathlyn Hendricks
- Publication date: 1990
- Genre: Self-help
It requires conscious effort to make any relationship work and no one understands this better than Gay and Kathyln who have been married for several years and also counsel over a thousand couples. This book identifies strategies to create vital partnerships and also creative ways to enhance the happiness of each individual.
3. The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Last
- Author: Gary Chapman
- Publication date: 1992
- Genre: Self-help, intimate relationship, psychology
Unsurprisingly, this is one of the most popular relationship books, and no, it’s not over rated. To sustain a relationship you’ll need to understand your partner’s love language as this would help them communicate better, express how they want to be loved, and also secure the relationship.
With Campbell’s concepts of physical touch, verbal affirmation, gift-giving, acts of service, and quality time there’s hardly any relationship book that explains love language better.
2. The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work
- Author: Eli J. Finkel
- Publication date: 2017
- Genre: Self-help, relationship
David Choe once said “There’s no balance; all or nothing” and this may just be true for great relationships. This book encourages couples to reevaluate their expectations, invest in their relationships, and embrace opportunities for growth and connection.
Finkel also provides readers with love hacks that have proven to work despite societal changes that have shaped the expectations of relationships.
1. Getting The Love You Want
- Author: Harville Hendrix
- Publication date: 1988
- Genre: Self-help, relationship psychology
Everyone deserves to be loved rightly and this book has satisfactorily explained this concept. Harville provides insights to help navigate from the same relationship issues one’s parents may have suffered through step by step process called “Imago Therapy”.
He further provides the roadmap to creating deeper and more fulfilling connections with your partner. With these intentional steps, be sure to get the love you want.
